Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The First Australian Press Breifing with a Press Secretary (Communist Party)

August 22nd
Parliament House Australia
Press Secretary: Tom 2.0 Live
(Communist Party Win)
(Photo courtesy of Hayden Cooper Political Reporter ABC News)

My Fellow Communist Australians
Welcome to this interesting new idea and fascinating new way for the
Government to interact and listen to the voices of the people and the Press
in a Freely and open way that is
Transparent and Exciting

I Tom 2.0 Live am your new Press Secretary

We here at new elected representative of the people in government
Led by our proficient and efficient and dedicated and esteemed leader
[insert name here]

If you are wanting to experience this new form of Governmental Interaction
you can log in and
Sign this
Deceleration of Independence of 2010

And if you are so inclined to experience this thrilling new idea of Democracy
you may cast a vote for who you want as the leader
of the
Communist Party
in this
Election for the President of MySpace.com
and as just we would like to keep the firewall of internet supremacy with
the
Internet Protocols of Humanity

My Fellow Comrades lets Celebrate this glorious day by getting drunk and going out and
singing and dancing and drinking and smoking
as that is what we always seem to do.

No more questions that is our statement tell the people, now lets all go get drunk.



The First Australian Press Breifing with a Press Secretary (Australian Sex Party)

August 22nd
Parliament House Australia
Press Secretary: Tom 2.0 Live
(Australian Sex Party Win)
(Photo courtesy of Hayden Cooper Political Reporter ABC News)

My Fellow Australians

Good Morning and i would like to welcome you all to the the first ever
Press Briefing with me
Tom 2.0 Live
As your
Press Secretary

We here at the Australian Sex Party with the newly elected
[insert party leader name] Government
would like to thank all the supporters and voters for their mandate by voting for us.

Of course we straight away will be putting in place
The Internet Protocols of Humanity

Because what else would we do but use my writings
the very man that was fired for sending rude material in China
and was Deported for 5 years.

And of course i am so glad i saw all you fuckers out there sign this
The Declaration of Independence 2010

At the Australian Sex Party you all know how strongly we feel about
Democracy so you can bet your fucking ass we all voted in this
The Election of the President of MySpace.com

In the Interest of Openness and Transparency
(and the fact the Chinese already have these documents)
I am here to disclose the Top Secret Tom 2.0 Live Documents

Being the Security Time Check Alpha
Communication Break Down
and
The Tom 2.0 Live Network
and of course
The Tom 2.0 Live Communication and Presidential Recording System

I will now take your Questions...
And have you seen the Emails that got me fired from my last job?







Monday, July 26, 2010

The First Australian Press Breifing with a Press Secretary (Greens Version)

August 22nd
Parliament House Australia
Press Secretary: Tom 2.0 Live
(Greens Party Win)

(Photo courtesy of Hayden Cooper Political Reporter ABC News)

My Fellow Australians

I would like to introduce you to the first ever Press Briefing
of the newly elected
Brown Government
Not quite Green but Green enough.

My name is Tom 2.0 Live and i will be your Press Secretary

Personally fuck man we are so thankful you voted for us
really we didn't think anyone knew we existed

And Fuck man just to be considered was an Honor but to Vote us in
Thanks Everyone for the support.

And so glad we all decided to Sign this
Deceleration of Independence of 2010.

And dam man so glad we all showed our democratic right and privalage to Vote
in the first ever
Election for the President of MySpace.com

and yes we will all be glad to see these
Internet Protocols of Humanity
Implemented as soon as possible for the
Safety and Security of our nation.

Now who is over the shock that we were voted in and has a real question to ask?




The First Australian Press Breifing with a Press Secretary (Liberal Version)

August 22nd
Parliament House Australia
Press Secretary: Tom 2.0 Live
(Liberal Party Win)
(Photo courtesy of Hayden Cooper Political Reporter ABC News)

My Fellow Australians
Welcome to this new idea of a Press Briefing with me
Tom 2.0 Live
as your
Press Secretary

Can i just say there is so much typing in this job hope i do ok.

We here at the Abbott Government would like to welcome you all to the
New Press Room

From now on Daily and Hourly and Well when ever you want
we will have
Live Broadcasts

The Coalition would like to thank the Australians that
Decided to Stand up for Real Action and
Sign this
Deceleration of Independence 2010

And of course thank you all for your votes in
The Election of the President of MySpace.com

As you know there will be no Internet Filter and we have decided to
Implement
The Internet Protocols of Humanity

I would also like to point out that no i do not know any of these people
And i do not class them as my Friend as i sent messages to them
and they have not replied
Message to Celebrities

I will take your Questions now


The First Australian Press Breifing with a Press Secretary (Labor Version)


August 22nd
Parliament House Australia
Press Secretary: Tom 2.0 Live
(Labor Party Win)

(Photo courtesy of Hayden Cooper Political Reporter ABC News)

My Fellow Australians
I would like to welcome you here to the first ever Press Briefing with
a
Press Secretary
me
Tom 2.0 live


Here are some opening remarks and then i will take your questions.

The election was a long and difficult race, it was tough and yes
it did come down to that photo finish

The Gillard Government would like to thank all those that helped and worked
tirelessly throughout the campaign.

We are glad Australians could Move Forward and sign
The Declaration of Independence of 2010

As i am sure you can all see
The Official Labor Space on MySpace.com Account signed that.

And i would like to thank all the helpful Labor Supporters that voted in
The Election for the President of MySpace.com

And as of today the
Internet Protocols of Humanity
will be followed by all Australians
negating the need for an Internet Filter

Ok, i will take your Questions now...

Saturday, July 24, 2010

The First Australian Press Breifing with a Press Secretary


August 22nd 2010.
Parliament House
Press Briefing
Press Secretary : Tom 2.0 Live(photo courtesy of Latika M Bourke Political Reporter)

My Fellow Australians
I would like to welcome you here to this the first ever
Press Briefing from the first ever Press Secretary of
Australia
Me
Tom 2.0 Live

As such i was too bored and lazy to come up with my own
National Security System so
Lets just copy the United States of America and use
Barack Obama's

In the interest of Openness and Transparency with the newly elected
[insert political party here]
and the undertaking of the
Web 2.0 Government Inititives
My time in China has been posted online
For an Eternity for all Australians to see

(i sort of made them into a TV Show like Blog Form)
Season One
Season Two
Season Three

However yes there are things of my life that are Classified as
TOP SECRET
and
SECRET
and even at times
CONFIDENTIAL

so do not be surprised if that's what i answer with and then give you no more details.

Yep in the interest of National Security i will lie to the Australian people at times.

I would like to thank the newly elected Prime Minster
[insert winner of election here]

And for being able to Move Forward and Stand up for Real Action and
Sign this
Deceleration fo Independence 2010

And as i voted for them it was so good they voted for me in the
Election of the President of MySpace.com

I am pleased the Australian people all decided to come to some
Compromise and agreement
and implement these
Internet Protocols of Humanity

As for today's business i will take some questions
ahhh
Who should i call on first?
If only i knew the names of reporters?
If only they would email me at
albertokang@gmail.com
so i can check you are who you say you are


Friday, July 23, 2010

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Press Briefing 2010.0721




Dear Future Generations of Humanity

here is the Press Briefing 2010.0721 and most of it was all about the media and the frenzy that happened with the firing of a USDA staff person for comments that were taken out of context.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

White House Press Briefing 2010.0714




Dear Future Generations of Humanity

I have been a little lax in posting and updating this Blog with the Press Briefings.

Also feel free to search Twitter with #FutureGenLobby for my efforts at Lobbying to Senators and Congress People for a Clean Energy Bill and Financial Reform Bill.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Lobyist for Future Generations of Humanity

Dear Future Generations of Humanity

As you can see here from my
White House
Message
I have completed my assignment of
Lobbying for you.














As you know you are Future Generations of Humanity
And you will know what i have been doing all this time
Lobbying on your behalf to
The White House

Now if only that Face to Face meeting will happen.

Because what possible reason could there be for
Luke Maniskas
The Lobyist for Future Generations of Humanity
from being able to have a Face to Face with the President?

Could it be some of the things i wrote and sent as
Alberto Kang to Secret Service?

Sort of like the things i was sending for two years while i was in China.

Any way as you can see i have represented you well

And Just how offensive is my writing if i could be Deported from China for 5 years?